Lovebuch family happenings

My doctor and I decided to cancel any more systemic treatment because of the increasing occurrence of complications. My doctor felt that at this point, the cons outweighed the pros--meaning the organ damage and possibility of more serious complications caused by the chemo would be greater than the increase in the chance of cure.  I sided with his judgement. I have mixed emotions because I want the greatest chance of cure possible which means sticking to the plan as closely as possible and taking more chemo. However, this must be balanced against the side-effects, and there is a limit to how much chemo any body can handle.  My pancreas, stomach, and intestines were being pushed hard. These are organs I don't want too max to their limits. (Especially the pancreas which Dr. Shustov described as a nuclear reactor of enzymes--so I really want to avoid messing with that one anymore). It really makes the most sense to stop now, before any worse complications occur. We discussed stopping

Since leaving the hospital 3 weeks ago, I haven't had any more chemo, as I'm still recovering from the side-effects of the cytarabine almost a month ago.  The cytarabine isn't selective in what cells it kills and it really inflamed my GI tract. Five days after getting out of the hospital, I went back in the middle of night because of an esophageal bleeding.  It scared the bejesus out of me as I had low platelets (also from the cytarabine), so once the bleeding started, it took a while to stop, my stomach filled with blood, and then that caused a load of nausea until I vommed up a bunch of fresh blood. Bree drove me to the ER and we stayed in the ER for 15 hours until a room opened up on in Heme/Onc. Twenty-three people visited us during the ER stint--6 doctors, 7 nurses, one PA, 4 radiology, PT, OT, and 3 hospital staff to sign forms. I was glad for the attention, but it did make it difficult to sleep. After some tests and a scope into the stomach, I was free to go on Satur